maternity leave is over

I realize that I have totally neglected this blog for the past month. We had so much going on in December and I was just soaking up all the time I got to spend with Crew before going back to work. I can't believe I'm back at work officially. I worked a couple half days in December so the first day back wouldn't be such a shock.

The good news is that I get to bring my sweet baby to work with me a few days a week. While I wish so much that I could be home with him every day, I am beyond thankful for a boss who is so understanding and that loves kids so much! Crew has come to work with me twice so far and did so well. I can tell he is still trying to get used to being in a new place and figuring everything out, but it couldn't have gone better. I know it will be so hard for me to focus on my work while tending to Crew, but hopefully I'll get it figured out soon.

My office has turned into a nursery and I love it. We've got a Pack n' Play, a stroller, a bouncer, toys, a TV and so much more for sweet C. On the days that he doesn't come to work with me, he will be with either my mom or Will's mom. I am so grateful that we have grandma's in town who can come take care of Crew. It puts my mind at ease.

I never ever thought I would want to be a SAHM...until becoming pregnant. And that desire only intensified by about 1 million after our son was born. I don't want to miss a thing. Unfortunately, not working just isn't feasible for our family right now. I trust God's plan for our lives and know that if it's meant to be, He will pave the way someday. But for now, I am continuing to thank God for a great boss, great grandmas, and an even greater husband!

Since Will is substitute teaching right now (more on that later), school has not started back yet so he has Crew at home this week. I know C will love the bonding time with his daddy! Their first day together went great. I didn't have any doubt that it would. Crew loves Will!

 

Happy New Year!

crew | two months

How is it possible that we already have a two month old?! Without a doubt, these have been the best two months of our lives with our sweet little man.

weight: 15.2 lbs!

length: we'll find out at his two month appt. coming up in the next week

clothes: 3 months, but quickly growing!

diapers: size 1 in Pampers and wearing OS cloth

hair color: light brown

eye color: dark blue

nicknames: crew baby, crew man, crewster, C, crewseph (nickname from his daddy), crew boo

likes: baths, riding in the car, talking to you, smiling, being able to look around and see what's going on

dislikes: Will & I both thought on this and couldn't really think of anything! The only thing he seems to dislike sometimes is his pacifier. A lot of the times he makes a face when we try to give it to him or makes a gagging noise. That's fine with me! He also hates hiccups. Other than that, he's SO easy-going!

Crew has become so vocal this week. It is so much fun to sit and talk to him and listen to him try and talk back. I can't get enough! We are still falling more in love each time we get him to smile too! We've noticed him being able to follow things with his eyes now. We were at my parents' this week and he would watch Uncle Colin wherever he went!

Crew's been sleeping pretty good at night by waking up every 3.5-4 hours. He's' had occasional spurts where he'll sleep a little longer than 4 hours, but it's not frequent. We usually try and give him a bottle at his midnight feeding so that we know he's full when he's finished and he'll sleep longer. He's taking up to 5 oz. with a bottle now. It's so funny when you are feeding him and try and pull the bottle out of his mouth. He will grunt like you've made him so mad! Little man likes to eat!

Crew got a little cold this week and it was so sad. It broke my heart to hear him snorting trying to breathe. There were a few times that we just had to hold him upright on our chest for him to sleep just so he could breathe and get some rest. We invested in the Nosefrida and it's worked better than the bulb. Surprisingly, he just grins when we use the 'snotsucker' on him! 

Crew got dedicated this week also. It was such a sweet day and we were so glad our family could be there. We missed Uncle Matt, Aunt Jeana and Uncle Micah though!

He is wearing 3 month clothes, but I don't know how much longer he'll be in them. He's getting SO big. With some clothes, we have issues with the arms or legs being too short for him. He's his mother's son! I've ALWAYS had that problem. I lovvvve all of his fat rolls!

We moved him to his crib to sleep this week. It's gone ok so far. Sometimes we still let him sleep part of the night in his glider in the living room. He's totally over the Rock n' Play though. I think maybe he's just too big to be comfortable in it now.

Look at that little ham in skinny jeans! Those pants are some of my favorite from H&M. They're 6 month pants and really only fit him in the waste because of his cloth diaper (and big belly!). They're still way too long.

Crew's personality is showing through more and more each day. We LOVE talking to him and listening to him try to talk back. All his coo's and noises are just the sweetest thing ever. We are soaking it up!

We're still breastfeeding and it's going great. If you had told me about 5-6 weeks ago that I would actually enjoy it, I wouldn't have believed you. The pain is gone and he eats like a champ. Obviously. He's 14 lbs! We occasionally supplement with formula if we are going to be out for a while just because I feel like I can't keep up with him with pumping enough extra. He always wants to eat, but we are working on spreading out his feedings to every four hours. He goes anywhere from 2.5-3 hours now. If there's a period of time where I don't nurse him and he gets a bottle instead, I actually really miss him and miss that bonding time. He's such a sweetheart. He's gotten to where he's always holding me or holding my shirt when he nurses and I love that. I love feeling needed.

On his 7 week birthday, he slept the best he has ever slept. He went from 9:30 - 3:30 (6 hours!!) and then slept another 4 hours after that. Basically he just skipped that midnight feeding and it was great to have uninterrupted sleep! After Thanksgiving we are going to begin sleep training him. It's recommended not to sleep train until he is 8 weeks old so once we are home from traveling we will start. We read "Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old" as recommended by a friend who had success with the sleep training method and are anxious to get it started. I will let you know how it goes!

We started cloth diapering this week. We still only do it during the day, but put him in disposables at night since he goes longer in between changes. It's going great so far. I felt so intimidated by cloth before we started it "full time." One day Crew and I were at home by ourselves and decided to jump right in. I don't know why it was so intimidating, it's just as easy as disposables...and so much cuter!

Crew did great this week traveling to Muddy, IL. He slept the entire 4 hours there and back. He's so good in the car. He got to meet his third great grandma and the rest of the Kassner family up there. We also got to see Uncle Matt & Aunt Jeana for Thanksgiving too.

He's been getting better with sleeping and stretching time between feedings. His longest stretch of sleep at night is 6 hours. He also slept 6 hours during the day on Thanksgiving because he was so worn out from traveling. He goes anywhere from 3-4 hours between eating typically.

At night he still sleeps better/longer in his glider than he does his crib so we usually just let him stay in it. We'd both rather sleep longer so I'm not too concerned with where he's getting his rest right now.

Sweet Crew,
You have lightened our lives like we never imagined possible. We are amazed with you more and more each day. You are such a good baby. You are the perfect baby. You really never cry, only the occasional grunting and fussing. You are always smiling...especially when someone is talking to you and you try your hardest to talk back to us. You are so, so loved by everyone who knows you. We can't wait for our first Christmas with you!
Love, your Mom and Dad

december goals

I've been seeing "goal" posts floating around for some time now. I thought December would be a great month to start setting intentional goals with it being such a great month (my birthday and Crew's first Christmas!). I have so much I want to do and traditions I want to start now that we're a family of three.

- finish Crew's nursery
I can't believe I'm even having to set this goal. Before Crew was born, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that I would have his room done and it would be perfect. BUT as time got closer to his birthday and I got bigger, my motivation got smaller...as did my energy. The several craft projects I had started still aren't done. I'm so ready for everything to be completed and hanging on the walls in his room.

- start sleep training Crew

This is one that I wouldn't be too disappointed if it didn't happen this month because I know all babies are different. We are planning on using the 4-step system in Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old. It's recommended to not begin sleep training until the baby is 8 weeks old and well, we're at that point. By the end of the sleep training, Crew should sleep 12 hours through the night.

- cut down our Christmas tree

We've always had live Christmas trees, but never cut down our own. I thought this would be a fun tradition to start with Crew.

- hang an Advent calendar

This is also something we've never done, but is another tradition I would like to start with little Crew man. I'm planning on hanging this one from Naptime Diaries. I LOVE it.

- reopen my Etsy shop

Once I'm finished with all the crafting in Crew's nursery, I want to reopen my Etsy shop. Every single time I see my great friend, Kelly, she encourages me to do it. Hopefully I'll be able to figure out the balance between my sweet Crew baby and family and work and crafting. Yikes. 

- go on 3 dates with Will

It's so easy to not make time for each other with a baby in our lives now. It's not that I want to be away from Crew (because trust me, I DON'T), but I also need to be intentional in continually pursuing my relationship with my husband so that we can be the best parents possible for our son.

uncertainty

Crew had his first cold two weeks ago. I felt terrible. I didn't know if it was because of somewhere I had taken him or because of not washing my hands before I touched his face or any one of several causes for his sneezes and stuffy nose. All I knew was he had trouble sleeping when he was lying flat and he was pitiful. I was totally unprepared for his first sickness. I didn't know what medicine to give him or even if he could have any. I felt so helpless to him. For a day or two he napped sleeping upright on our chests just so that he could breathe.

We traveled this week for Thanksgiving. We went up to Illinois for Crew to meet his third great grandma and family. It was so special for him to finally meet his Mawmaw and spend some time up there. But, the traveling and extra attention he had while we were there did him in. He was fussy in Illinois. We've never had a fussy baby. Once we got back to Memphis on Thanksgiving morning, he was just exhausted...even after sleeping the entire four-hour drive home. We spent Thanksgiving day at my parents' house for lunch with the family. By the time we were ready to eat, Crew had become inconsolable. He was screaming. It was a cry I had never heard from my sweet, sweet baby before and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was wrong. He had just nursed twice within an hour of each other. The second time calmed him, but it wasn't long before he got worked up again. My mom tried to help him, Will tried, my dad tried. Nothing was working. His crying was hurting me. I felt so inadequate. We have been so blessed with such an "easy" baby that I didn't know what to do at this point. My mom handed Crew to me and he seemed to relax a little bit. I just held him close and walked around and he finally stopped crying and eventually went to sleep. He slept for 6 hours straight that afternoon...and still slept through the night. My poor baby was literally just exhausted from the overstimulation of traveling, being in a new place and meeting new people. He even slept much more the next morning and afternoon.

Just as Crew experiences "firsts" everyday, I do too. With firsts like these, and the many more to come, I know I will have more feelings of inadequacy and uncertainty. Motherhood is different than I ever imagined. Harder and better all the same. It's in the moments that he calms down when he's given to me that I feel I must be doing something right. I must be doing something right for him to feel comforted in my arms. I'm his mother. What a blessing. Just as I looked to my mother in the times of uncertainty with a sick or inconsolable baby, Crew looks to me to calm him when he's exhausted beyond belief. I have no idea what I'm doing much of the time. Crew doesn't know that. Crew doesn't know that his mother is still learning with him and just guessing much of the time. To him, I'm a source of comfort and he's ignorant to all of my shortcomings. Oh, am I grateful! I've never honored a title so much: Crew's mother.

"Dear Lord, thank You for the advice that gets me through, and for helping me find beauty in the most challenging times."

-Sabra Ciancanelli

crew's newborn photos | 2

Part One

Crew's first outing was for the second part of his newborn photos. He was 8 days old and even though I was still pretty sore from giving birth, it was so nice for our little family to get out of the house for some fresh air!

How time flies!