uncertainty

Crew had his first cold two weeks ago. I felt terrible. I didn't know if it was because of somewhere I had taken him or because of not washing my hands before I touched his face or any one of several causes for his sneezes and stuffy nose. All I knew was he had trouble sleeping when he was lying flat and he was pitiful. I was totally unprepared for his first sickness. I didn't know what medicine to give him or even if he could have any. I felt so helpless to him. For a day or two he napped sleeping upright on our chests just so that he could breathe.

We traveled this week for Thanksgiving. We went up to Illinois for Crew to meet his third great grandma and family. It was so special for him to finally meet his Mawmaw and spend some time up there. But, the traveling and extra attention he had while we were there did him in. He was fussy in Illinois. We've never had a fussy baby. Once we got back to Memphis on Thanksgiving morning, he was just exhausted...even after sleeping the entire four-hour drive home. We spent Thanksgiving day at my parents' house for lunch with the family. By the time we were ready to eat, Crew had become inconsolable. He was screaming. It was a cry I had never heard from my sweet, sweet baby before and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was wrong. He had just nursed twice within an hour of each other. The second time calmed him, but it wasn't long before he got worked up again. My mom tried to help him, Will tried, my dad tried. Nothing was working. His crying was hurting me. I felt so inadequate. We have been so blessed with such an "easy" baby that I didn't know what to do at this point. My mom handed Crew to me and he seemed to relax a little bit. I just held him close and walked around and he finally stopped crying and eventually went to sleep. He slept for 6 hours straight that afternoon...and still slept through the night. My poor baby was literally just exhausted from the overstimulation of traveling, being in a new place and meeting new people. He even slept much more the next morning and afternoon.

Just as Crew experiences "firsts" everyday, I do too. With firsts like these, and the many more to come, I know I will have more feelings of inadequacy and uncertainty. Motherhood is different than I ever imagined. Harder and better all the same. It's in the moments that he calms down when he's given to me that I feel I must be doing something right. I must be doing something right for him to feel comforted in my arms. I'm his mother. What a blessing. Just as I looked to my mother in the times of uncertainty with a sick or inconsolable baby, Crew looks to me to calm him when he's exhausted beyond belief. I have no idea what I'm doing much of the time. Crew doesn't know that. Crew doesn't know that his mother is still learning with him and just guessing much of the time. To him, I'm a source of comfort and he's ignorant to all of my shortcomings. Oh, am I grateful! I've never honored a title so much: Crew's mother.

"Dear Lord, thank You for the advice that gets me through, and for helping me find beauty in the most challenging times."

-Sabra Ciancanelli

crew's newborn photos | 2

Part One

Crew's first outing was for the second part of his newborn photos. He was 8 days old and even though I was still pretty sore from giving birth, it was so nice for our little family to get out of the house for some fresh air!

How time flies!

crew's newborn photos | 1

I just realized that I never posted Crew's newborn photos. Kelly came over when he was 8 days old and took these. She was so patient with us. I never realized how long it would take for these photos. Crew and I and Will were all still getting used to each other and adjusting to our new life. We had to stop to eat a few times. Crew even had a couple (hilarious) accidents when we were trying the infamous naked baby photos. We are so lucky to have had Kelly there who is a great friend, but also incredibly patient!

video | crew's birth day

I finally finished compiling the videos from the day Crew was born! He was so tiny! I can't believe this was 6 weeks ago!

a cloth diapering day

Last week we decided to try out our cloth diapers. They are all just sitting in a drawer and are so much cuter than disposables. Before Crew was born we weren't sure at what age we were going to start cloth diapering, but knew it wouldn't be right away. I wanted to go ahead and give it a try and see how they fit on him. We actually didn't even use them all day; we just used the one and decided to wait maybe a few more months until he's bigger. The diaper worked great...no leaking or blowouts thank goodness. Our only issue was that the diaper went down to his knees (as you can see below) and just looked too big on him still. But I will admit, he is a total cutie pie in a cloth diaper!

This particular diaper is Rumparooz, but it's the only one of that brand that we have. The plaid was too cute to pass up!

We have mainly bumGenius and Lovely Pocket diapers with the one Rumparooz and one Charlie Banana.

We are really looking forward to cloth diapering. I know some (most) people think it's gross, but it really isn't bad at all. The cloth will be so much softer on his little bum...and more fashionable!

What have your experiences with cloth diapering been?

a week of firsts

This post has been sitting as a draft for a few weeks now. I just wanted to share some big "firsts" for us and for Crew in his second week of life!

His first "real" bath after his cord fell off - He loved it! The only part he wasn't a fan of was being laid down directly onto his little bathtub (the blue part). It's rubber and COLD. And pouring warm water over it doesn't help warm it up at all. Poor baby let out the saddest shriek before we put the towel under him!

Crew had his first bottle on his two week birthday. I know Will was excited to finally be able to feed him. (And I was excited for a little break because I was still so sore!) He took it like a champ! We use the Tommy Tippee bottles and have had no problem going from breastfeeding to bottle. I've given him the bottle one time and it didn't seem to confuse him at all. Little man likes to eat! We also gave him a pacifier during this week. At first he gagged from it being in his mouth, but after a few tries he got the hang of it. We are using the Avent Soothies. Even at almost five weeks old now, he still sometimes acts like he's never had a paci when we put it in his mouth. He makes some of the funniest faces! I just recently ordered a Natursutten (Butterfly Orthodontic) pacifier to see if he likes that one any better.

kermit the frog

We loved dressing up Crew for his first Halloween. I had been thinking about what costume for him to wear since before he was born, but didn't actually decide until about a week before Halloween. We went with a DIY costume...much better than spending $30 on something he'd wear once!

Materials: onesie, Rit dye, felt, pom pom balls, knit hat, something for leg warmers (or pants)

I mixed some Rit dye together (Kelly Green & Yellow) for the onesie. It was hard to get the color I wanted with a little trial and error, but it turned out ok! I also dyed some (adult size) tube socks to cut and use for his leg warmers, but they didn't hold the color for some reason. I ended up dying another onesie and cutting the sleeves off for "leg warmers." It was the best I could do last minute! I had also bought a pack of knit hats off of Amazon so I could dye the white one, but it also came with a lime green hat so we just used that instead. I hot glued the green pom poms to the top of his hat for the eyes and then drew eyes on white fabric to glue onto the pom poms. With the felt I cut out the Kermit collar and also little froggy hands and feet that were glued to his sleeves and socks. It turned out so cute and we had the cutest Kermie ever!

I'm probably going to hear about it for posting this pic, but I had to! We went to Trunk or Treat where my dad's work had a Duck Dynasty booth. Crew didn't recognize Lolly & Poppy!

A few days before Halloween we took Crew to a pumpkin patch for a few photos...

 Such a different Halloween from last year, but it was so much better! When we dressed up as the Sundrop couple last year, I would have never imagined that we would have a four week old a year later!